


Peppa Experience Requiem

by archerschild



Category: Peppa Pig (Cartoon), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 05:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20651879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archerschild/pseuds/archerschild
Summary: In which one of Diavolo’s many deaths falls into the unsuspecting hands of Peppa Pig.





	Peppa Experience Requiem

“Are you all right, mister?”

The sun was shining, beams of happy light filtering into Diavolo’s skin as he lay on the grass. His hands were at his sides, digging into the plush ground as he fought to open his eyes against the light.

“Mister?” The voice asked again. Diavolo didn’t understand what they were saying. They must be speaking in English.

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking to adjust them to the blue sky above him. The sun was above his head, and there were no clouds to offer a break. He flexed his fingers and moved his feet. The unfamiliar world offered a small break from his racing mind. he couldn’t remember what had just happened— It felt like a bad dream where he kept dying over and over again.

Diavolo hoped he was in Italy. He wouldn’t surrender Passioné to Giorno, the dumb kid with a dream. If he heard that phrase one more time, he would go feral. There was work to be done and he needed to get his organization back in the palm of his hand. Yet, there was a pig in his way. A large one, in fact.

“Mister?”

The pig peered down on him. Diavolo knew his heart was skipping beats at an unhealthy rate while he fixed his gaze upon the creature, but it towered over him. Diavolo was on the ground. He was very flat on the ground, there was no way that a pig could be this large.

Diavolo rose to his feet, holding onto the grass as he stood up. The pig was still taller.

There was no distinction for the Mafia Boss of when the fear settled in and when he let out a blood curdling cry that resonated through the blue, clear sky.

“Mister, I do believe you’re causing a ruckus! What’s the matter?”

The words were incomprehensible to Diavolo, and he reached down to pinch his skin. He looked around after, hoping the world would fade and he’d wake up. He’d wake up in his room, or even a random alley way. Anything but this.

Yet, when he met the eyes of the pig above him, his breath began to come in small huffs. It had to of been seven, even eight feet tall. A red dress fell to its knees and it was wearing a pair of yellow rain boots. The ground wasn’t wet, and Diavolo knew it hadn’t rained. Though, quite frankly, the dampness of the ground was the least of his concerns right now.

“King Crimson!” Diavolo shouted, watching his stand appear. He would erase time. He would just erase everything that regarded this pig and—

“What’s this?” the pig asked, bending down and grabbing King Crimson, squeezing its body like a barbie.

Diavolo wheezed, feeling his insides squeeze together as his arms slammed against his sides, his teeth gritting through the pain. He watched his stand be examined. The king that had once ruled an empire beyond human comprehension was being desecrated by the simple touch of an abnormally large pig. And it was the farthest thing from a dream.

The pig had six fingers as well. Three on each hand. It never looked at him head on either— it of course had a snout, but looked at him with two eyes on one side. It was the same for the other as well, meaning there were four eyes in total.

Diavolo reeled as he called his stand back, slipping on the grass while he tried to run down the hill. He hadn’t noticed the large house at the top, shivering at the fact that it had to fit a large pig such as the one he was trying to run away from.

“Peppa Experience Requiem!”

The words thundered through the pristine skies, calling down a roar of wind that sent Diavolo tumbling. He skidded and fell, his face smashing into the grass. His momentary peace was discarded as the ground rumbled.

“Peppa! What are you doing to this man?” A voice from the skies shouted down on Diavolo. He still couldn’t understand a word, but his ears felt like they were a second away from bursting in his head.

“Daddy! He’s my new friend. I wanted to show him Peppa Experience Requiem.” The pig answered back.

There was no will left in the Mafia Boss’ body left to move at who the larger speaker was, so he covered his ears and began running over the course of his terrible life. Damn child, damn mafia, damn pigs. If this was a dream that refused to release him from its egregious grasp, he could never eat a pig again. Or look at one.

Diavolo slammed his eyes shut, trying to focus on using his stand as the voices thundered around him. King Crimson could only erase time. He had tried, only to be faced with nothing. The size differences were favoring the pig as well.

The ground shook as the larger entity left the scene, and Diavolo heard giggling as the skies opened up on top of him. The rain soaked him to his bones and when it stopped, the soft grass had turned into a large puddle of mud. It wasn’t just above average size either. Diavolo was an island in a sea of mud.

Next came the whistling. If diavolo had any hearing left, he hoped that it would fade away. The whistling was like someone digging their nails into a chalkboard and dragging them down painstakingly slow. Running over every inch, taking their time because at the end of every day, slow and steady never failed to win the race.

The man once so mighty rose to his feet, tears and mud ruining his face, but he looked at the side of the pigs face. The mud was suctioning his feet to the ground, and his Gucci shoes were fatefully outmatched by boots from Walmart. His eyes were burning with the hearts of warriors from centuries ago, his heart calm and collected.

If it was a dream, Diavolo would win. If it was real life, Diavolo would win. He was going to conquer this and add to his empire.

“Peppa Experience Requiem!” The cry sounded again, and Diavolo watched a sheep manifest. It was the same size as the pig, and looked the same—except for every pig feature, there was a sheep one. The ground had begun to rumble again as the pig began to jump in the mud puddle.

“Mummy! Daddy! George! Let’s jump in the muddy puddle I made!”

Diavolo’s heart momentarily stopped as the thunderous roar from earlier answered in the form of a snort. The house shook as three eager pigs exited. There was one close to his size and two that were taller than the pig he’d been dealing with so far. Their ears clipped the skies and they were exceptionally large, and wearing rain boots.

They laughed in an unlawful harmony that threatened his eardrums. The sky smiled down on the pig family as they jumped in the puddle, making Diavolo fly off of the hill. He hit the ground hard, rolling until he placed his hand down so he could stop.

Peace.. at last?

Diavolo looked around him, but he failed to look to his right in time. His weary eyes were greeted by the four eyes of the pig.

“I didn’t show you what Susie Sheep could do. Look!”

He felt his body be lifted off of the ground, watching as the sheep came back again. It pulled out a large telephone and started whistling. A normal person’s whistle was enough to hurt if done properly. This was pristine, and it was loud. It was right next to his ears again.

The sheep hit a loud note, and that was the end of Diavolo’s hearing. His eardrums burst, and it sounded like an explosion going off in his head. He cried out in pain, slamming his hands over his ears to try to help. He wished he was blind. He wished he was dead. He couldn’t hear anything anymore, he couldn’t listen to the whistling.

He should be happy, but the pig made the rain pour down on him again. It was a quick and heavy shower, torrential enough to create another large puddle.

Diavolo was placed gently on the puddle as the pig began to jump up and down again, drenching him in mud and making him collapse. He tried to scramble to his feet, to get away, but—

Peppa Pig didn’t see the strange man had collapsed, so she continued to jump happily under the bright blue sky and happy sunshine. She felt something odd under her boot, but she just suspected it was a chunk of the ground that hadn’t been mashed into mud yet.

Her family had joined in on the fresh puddle as well, jumping for hours to come as Peppa summoned the rain to create more mud. All while Diavolo, the former King of Kings, and boss of Passioné, lay crushed to death and beyond by Walmart rain boots.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m so sorry for this guys, i’m writing a bruabba cop x criminal fic rn and i only had enough brain cells to write this  
plz be on the look out for my better stuff i’m begging


End file.
